Author Christo Strom
Sole Owner of Orange Race Card Angels
Head of Angel Promotions
From the desk of Chief Crazy Captain "Country" Christo
I wrote this next piece for Reba McEntire a year of so ago.
Since we here in the Twin Cities just survived a blizzard,
I would just like to ask you to read this with a sense of humor
and urgency. You see, I have since moved on from The Great
Pumpkin Letters to forming a company called Orange Race
Card Angels and our sole purpose for existing is to show
America how to erase the national debt. Stay tuned in 2011
thru 2017 because this is going to be going down. In the meantime
enjoy some old school writing from " just a fan of Reba's"
Respectfully in TRUTH,
Chief Crazy Captain Christo
AKA
Christo Strom
Sole Owner of Orange Race Card Angels
Head of Angel Promotions
Reba McEntire 2010 : IN THE (REBA) BEG......-An Excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters
Chief Crazy Captain Christo had a vision the other day. It was a deep frozen vision on the frozen tundra in Minnesota. He was out angel flying with his angel kite catamaran when he decided it was too cold to fly anymore. So he hitched his ride outside of an Ice house and knocked on the door. A bikini clad sweet heart opened the door and invited the Good Chief Crazy Captain Christo inside. The sweet heart was wearing an orange and black bikini that looked like well let's just say it melted the snow right off the Captain's Icy Beard.
The Good Chief Crazy Captain Christo had noticed the sweet heart was holding a microphone and there were no tip ups
or fishing poles in sight. She said she was on her own time in her own world on the frozen ice. She had a microphone and a Big Screen TV and was trying to sing along to the performer on the television. Upon further inspection, Chief Crazy Captain Christo noticed the performer on the Great American Country channel was none other than Reba McEntire. The Good Chief quickly decided to pay Reba a visit. He thanked the Hottest non ice fisher person in Minnesota for her suite hospitality and gave her a laser etched business card in case she ever wanted to come work for him. And in a heart beat he jammed down to Nashville. He caught Reba by surprise and quickly disguised himself as the Orange Room In Old Nashville.
Now for the conversation between Chief Crazy Captain Christo and Reba McEntire. Reba is going by the name of REM CENT. Chief Crazy Captain Christo is ORION ( Orange Room In Old Nashville)
Reba doesn't know it but she just opened the orange and black stage door with an OR written on it. A startled and frightened Reba thought she heard the voice of GOD but she knew she wasn't going Crazy. After all she was in an empty Orange room, with a Dean Markley Dimebag Darrell Razorback Explosion Guitar, a half-pipe skateboard ramp with three feet of vertical and a brass slide. We pick up the conversation in the hopes of learning of the REASON!
ORION: " Hi Reba it is I, Chief Crazy Captain Christo and I have come to rock your world. I need you Reba to gather all your country compadres from Nashville, er let me put it this way, all the country singers with bumps on their chests, to pay a visit to Omaha Nebraska on or about July 9th 2010. There will be a two year window of opportunity because I know that scheduling conflicts will probably arise. I would love to meet all of yall in person and play for you. I play a little bit of country but I tend to rock the boat so to speak...."
REM CENT : " How come I can't see you Chief Crazy Captain Christo? This is kind of scary for me so forgive me if I am not thrilled to death about your offer. Please show yourself"
ORION: " Reba, close your eyes and listen. Open your heart and I will flow inside. Take the time out and let your emotions fly away with me. I will take you to heaven but you must do one thing for me."
REM CENT: " Are you trying to hit on me? I got a lot of friends in Nashville buster so if you try anything I don't like , you will have Hell to pay."
ORION: " Very well Reba but I would never do that to a country Queen like yourself. Or any Country Queen for that matter. You know I did some foolish things when I was younger. But the Great Pumpkin told me to get back in and fight so I am fighting."
REM CENT: " You talk to the Great Pumpkin?"
ORION: " Yes I do! I talk to him every day and every night. Now Reba please pay attention. Instead of asking every Country female singer let's make a deal right here. You bring seventy country crooners that you feel deserve the term " Queen of Country" and I will respectfully add only five to that list. My five would have to be off course you first Reba, then Martina McBride, Carrie "Fisher" Underwood, Gretchen Wilson and Jo Dee Messina."
REM CENT: " Why should we country girls show up again? You know we are kind of busy with our careers and family and concerts. We don't just show up for anyone you know."
ORION: " I gotta go now Reba, but before I do the reason I need you country girls is because I have a special project that I would like to get started soon , like the day after July 9th 2010 would be ideal. Anyway, the project involves building a Theatrical Tree House for a little American Girl and a little American Boy. The American Boy just passed on in 2010 but the American Girl I believe
is still with us. I would be forever grateful if you ladies would show your support but again it is all up to you. One last thing Reba before I go, you are truly one of the most beautiful women on this planet and if I could I would ask GOD to spend a little more time with you and your ladies. Bye now Reba."
And with that Chief Crazy Captain Christo was finished in Nashville Tennessee. This has been another abbreviated version of The Great Pumpkin Letters. Stay tuned America!
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